Right Effort

Here's the fun update: the engineering firm wasn't interested. The patent law firm won't be hiring me either (they seem sad about it, at least). So, my best prospects are gone now. I really have nothing lined up. I've still been pretty diligently applying to jobs everyday, though it's tough when you never hear anything back from anyone.

To increase my chances, my wife and I recently decided that I can look for jobs outside of Chicago. We don't like spending large amounts of time apart, and when I started looking for a job I would've said that things would have to be desperate before I started looking outside of Chicago, but...well, here we are. I'm looking all over the country. I've even applied to a few jobs in other countries. I've also started an application to the Peace Corps. I'm glad that at least there are plenty of job opportunities in the USA. What's holding me back, I think, is that everyone wants experience - even the companies who say they want entry-level employees.

I think everyone has big changes they want to make in their lives; maybe you are fortunate enough to have made one. The desire to make the change will nag you constantly, but you will put it out of your mind because you know that it will take effort and dedication. But, somehow, people can go from being nagged to deciding to change. Maybe I'm missing something simple, but I don't see an easy explanation for how this transformation starts. I'm learning that job-searching is like this, too; I can say "I want a job" and put in some applications, and this would be like saying "I want to lose weight" and dieting for a week without making long-term changes. It's important to be sure you are saying "I will find a job", instead.

What now? Here's what I have so far:
1) Learn CAD - lots of jobs want CAD users
2) Get a small-time job, like Uncle Dan's or something
3) Start making the full-time job search more personal. Call the HR people for follow-ups. This apparently makes you stand out and look like you have initiative. It's hard to do because it involves focusing and putting effort into something that may prove entirely fruitless. At the very least, though, it will show me that people actually are looking at my resume.
4) Prepare for career fairs, both at undergraduate and graduate colleges. Honestly, it will be hard to go back to my graduate college's career fair because some of the companies I talked to in the fall will be there. It's a little like walking into a room full of single girls I used to date and who broke up with me: I'm still interested, they're still looking, and I'm not sure whether it will be too awkward to try again.

I'm mostly healthy again

After I got the flu, my wife got it, so I spent 4 or 5 days taking care of her. We are both better now, so I've been living like a real unemployed person for about a week now. My days consist of checking the morning email from Monster for any worthwhile job opportunities, sending my information to temp agencies, applying to miscellaneous jobs that I find or that my wife finds, doing household errands, and sometimes going to Northwestern to work from there (to get me out of the house).

The engineering firm that I interviewed with told me that I'd know within a month of the second interview whether or not the wanted to hire me. Not surprisingly, the one-month anniversary came and went without incident, so I called the president (it's a small company, so he does the hiring) yesterday and left a message nicely asking about my status. I haven't heard back yet.

This waiting can be frustrating. I think I avoid thinking about it a lot. That is to say, I try to push the anxiety to the back of my mind, since there's nothing I can really do about it. But, I'm sure you know, when you've called the president and are waiting for him to call back, you can end up with a lot of thoughts like "What's taking so long? Is he trying to figure out the best way to word their decision to not hire me?".

Monday, I got a call from a headhunter who found my resume on Monster. He had a manufacturing engineering job that he thought I'd be a good fit for. Tuesday, he called to tell me that the company wasn't interested, as they wanted someone with manufacturing experience. Easy come, easy go.

I've also found that doing a sabbatical like I was considering is tricky business. Every time I think about trying to find temporary work like that, I feel a strong urge not to, since I might get permanent employment soon. It's like these companies could call me at any moment!

Small setback in small job search

You might be wondering how my job search on Monday went. It didn't. Sunday night, I was feeling sort of queasy and weak. Turned into a horrible flu. I'm getting better, but I'm definitely in no shape to be walking around Evanston, talking to other people. So, like me, you'll have to wait for news on how the job search goes.

Thanksgiving

Sorry it's been a while. With the dearth of job news and the approach of the end of November, I stopped thinking about my future and focused on finishing up at my present job. I'm trying to get a paper ready for publication. I've written my draft and am still waiting for my boss to make his suggestions for changes. It's been about three weeks now since I've given him my draft. I received my last paycheck from Northwestern, so (now that I'm allowed to find another job) it might be harder to find time to work on the paper. My boss knows this, so I guess it will all work out. It just may take longer to get the paper published. And I don't really care about time to publication, as long as I get my Master's degree before my wife gets her Ph. D.

I guess you could say that things are looking up on the job front. I still haven't gotten an offer, but the patent law firm told me Wednesday that they are still considering me; they just want to make sure that they can afford the hires they are planning to make. At least, that's what she told me. At any rate, I should now hear from both the patent law firm and the engineering firm around the same time - in a few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm gonna find a temporary job. I contacted actual temp agencies, but they don't have anything for me, it seems. Monday, after taking care of a few things at Northwestern, I'm going to walk around Evanston looking for "help wanted" signs. It won't be a sabbatical like I was describing previously. I guess I'm not planning on having to do this temporary job for long. I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm thankful that I have a loving, supportive family. I'm thankful I live in a time in which I'm allowed to decide what I want to do for a living.

No More Interviews For Now

I had my second interview on Friday (11/14) with the engineering firm. It was another of these day-long things where I met with about 9 people who currently work for the company. I think it went well, but it's always so hard to tell. I mean, I didn't embarrass myself, and I think I answered the questions intelligently. They told me I'd hear about a job within a month.

So that's it. I have no more interviews lined up. My paper is "due" Friday. After that, I'm jobless! Here's where my prospects stand:

Engineering firm: Completed second interview. Should hear within a month.

Patent law firm: Completed first interview that was a lot like a second interview. Should hear this week.

Design firm: Nothing. They seemed interested, but never responded when I tried contacting them. I'm going to try contacting them again.

That's not a lot of prospects, but I don't feel like I've been job-searching full-time. I gave my info to a temp agency last week. I'm going to call the Monday to see how long their process takes.

It's exciting to be entering into this uncertain period of my life. I don't know what I'm going to be doing for (either temporary or permanent) work in two weeks. I wonder how many times in my life I'll get to feel this sense of not being attached; I should try to enjoy it.

My older brother is looking for a place to live. He has to leave his current residence 12/1. My little brother is deciding on college. He's already been accepted to one place. I am trying to find a new job. I stop getting paid 11/30. Lots of change!

The Four-hour Work Week

This is not a recent read of mine. I read it in the summer of 2007. But you might say that this is where the idea that I can design my life came from. The guy who wrote this book, Tim Ferrell, is quite a character. He seems to be living his life more fully than anyone else on Earth: he holds a world record in Tango dancing, he is a champion Thai kick-boxer, he's learned German break-dancing in Germany, and so on. In the book, he describes how he designed his life to make all of that possible. It all revolves around passive income.

The book starts off with a description of how he began his life and what made him decide to make his life awesome. Then he lays out how he did what he did. To begin, he started a small business without much capital or intellectual property; he had a vitamin company sell a relabel of their product under his name (I'm still a little unclear how that works). Using this business, he refined his selling and advertising strategies to an extremely-efficient science. After this, he just had to hire someone to do what he was doing and remove himself from the process (while still making some money from the whole deal). Then, he moved on to starting other, more-involved businesses. But his goal is always to remove himself from the business so that he makes money by doing nothing. It seems to work very well for him.

The rest of the book is the fun part: he shows you how to do what he did. He explains how to calculate how much money you need each month (for necessities and for things you want), how to get ideas for businesses, how to automate your business, how to learn from other people's business plans, how to market, how to get cheap advertising in magazines, and more that I can't remember. He really lays out a detailed plan that I feel anyone can follow.

At the very least, it's exciting to read and imagine what your life could be like. He really makes it sound like you could do what he does. But that raises the question "If it's so attainable, have you done it?" The answer, of course, is "no". There are plenty of excuses: "I'm too busy" and "I can't afford it" are the big ones (both of which he discusses in the book). The actual reason is that it is scary and maybe I don't need all that freedom.

While I never did anything with the book, it did instill in me a feeling of power over life, that it's within our abilities to make our lives more like what we want. It taught me a little about the power of confidence and the old saying "the squeaky wheel gets greased".

Interview updates

Since going to the Career Fair at Northwestern, I've had interviews with three companies. The first was with GE Healthcare. The job I was applying for would have me in three different locations for 8 months each. I wasn't sure that I take the job if it were offered to me. I guess the first interview went fine because they wanted to do a second interview in Wisconsin. They asked if I would be available 11/5 and 11/6. I told them I couldn't leave town 11/5 (my secret reason being that I had an interview with a company I'm more interested in that day). The lady I talked to said they'd try to schedule another day for me. I recently found out that they couldn't do that, so they just stopped pursuing me for the job. They'll keep me in mind for future openings, but I'm not expecting anything to come of that.

Wednesday (11/5) I had my first interview with a small Chicago engineering firm. They said I'd know within a week. I thought that meant that I'd have a job offer within a week, but it actually meant that I'd know whether they wanted a second interview. I found out on Friday (11/7) that they want a second interview, but it's going to be hard to schedule. I learned my lesson from GE: accept whatever date they offer.

Friday (11/7) I had my first interview with a Chicago patent law firm. This interview had the flavor of a second interview, though, because I didn't sit in a room and talk to one person; in 3.5 hours, I met with seven partners and was taken out to lunch by two, more-junior members of the firm. I think it went well, though I have no timeline for when the decisions get made.

I hope to have another book review up tomorrow.

Interviews and Elections

Nothing insightful today. Just a little update.

I had an interview today with a small engineering firm in Chicago. I'm super interested in working for them. I'd be a sort-of consultant, my co-workers would be really smart people, I'd get to learn lots of new technology, and I'd get to interface with all sorts of other industry people. The interview went well, for the most part.

I have an interview of Friday with a patent law firm. They'd teach me all the legal stuff; I'd be in charge of meeting with the inventors and turning the technical stuff into legal language. I previously said that I'm not interested in patent law based on my aptitudes, but now I could see patent law being satisfying. I guess I just want to learn more about it. The interview is Friday morning from 9:30am to 1:00pm. I'll meet 6 to 8 people during that time. Sounds grueling.

Here's something: I think presidential elections are a lot less scary when you don't feel like the world is at stake. I know someone who said that if Obama were elected, there wouldn't be an America. Something about Obama socializing the hell out of everything and making much worse our economic situation. I know someone else who said that if McCain were elected, he would die in office, Palin would be president, and she would prevent all science funding because she is so anti-science. Both of these people relate very strongly with their respective political party and find it difficult to talk to folks who identify with the opposing party because it's so obvious how the "other" candidate would ruin the country. Their intense fear of a possible outcome leads to a failure to communicate with those who may disagree.

This is only tenuously related to job interviews. Getting desperate and feeling like the job you are interviewing for is your only hope will ruin you. That fear will lead to a failure to communicate. Remember that you can *always* get back out there and find someone to hire you. This engineering firm I talked with today is the only engineering firm on my radar right now. If they don't hire me and I feel like it's the sort of place I belong, I can start cold calling for leads like I did with the design firms. I find that it's much easier to believe this line of thinking having done it already. I recommend the experience for anyone thinking about changing careers.

High hopes, low expectations

If you meet with the Human Resources person at a company for an informational interview and he says he likes your enthusiasm and says that he can see you are interested and shows you around the facilities and introduces you to everyone on the team and tells you that he could use someone with your abilities at least temporarily and tells you to call the Head of Engineering in a week to continue the discussion of your possible employment with the company and makes you say to yourself as you leave "Wow, I just wanted to learn more about his job, and now I might end up working there!", it *does not* mean that anybody at the company will return your calls.

Aptitude test results

I did my second round of aptitude testing Wednesday (10/29). I also had a free consultation to discuss my results. So I learned a lot. Before I go into what I learned about myself, let me explain about aptitudes.

An aptitude is an innate ability that you have. These aptitudes are isolated and measured by tests designed at the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation. The best measure of an aptitude is your percentile score on these tests compared to others in your age group. Your percentile won't vary as you age (which is to say that you'll always outperform the same fraction of the population of your age group). So, by construction, these aptitudes are with you for life and can't be learned or forgotten. The aptitudes fall into these general categories (I don't have my results handy, so this is from memory): Convergent thinking (purpose-driven thinking), divergent thinking (idea-generating thinking), musical, spatial, physical, clerical, and memory.

Knowing your aptitudes helps with career decisions. If you have a job in which you must use aptitudes you don't have, you will feel frustrated and bad at your job. If you have a job which doesn't require aptitudes you do have, you must find an outlet for the unused aptitudes or you will feel unfulfilled and restless. Thankfully, aptitudes have many outlets. For instance, music composition requires both all of the musical aptitudes (for differentiating and remembering rhythms and pitches) and some of the spatial aptitudes (for conceptualizing the different layers of the music).

After taking the 20 or so tests to measure your different aptitudes, you have a one-on-one meeting with someone who works at the Foundation about the results and how they can guide you in your career decisions. Again, I don't have my results handy, but here's generally what I learned: I have a lot of aptitudes. I'm not great with small tools and I'm probably not great at physical labor in general, but otherwise I'm full of aptitude.

This isn't awesome news. It's going to take some work to find a way to incorporate all of my aptitudes into my life. Work takes up a lot of our lives, so it makes sense to try to match up as many aptitudes as possible with our choice of career, but, as I hinted at above, work isn't the only possible outlet. Hobbies do just fine for aptitude use, so long as they are hobbies you take seriously and partake in regularly. So, it's not impossible to find ways to regularly use my aptitudes, but it will be hard.

They do give one personality test. It tells you whether you are an objective or subjective person; I'm 100% subjective (I didn't give a single objective response). This means I want to be a specialist, someone who people respect for my knowledge and abilities in one area, someone who doesn't separate work and life (this blog is evidence of that). They gave me some suggestions for career paths based on my subjective personality and my strong spatial aptitudes (since a job is either strongly spatial or not spatial at all). The suggestions aren't meant to be the end-all-be-all for me, especially considering that spatialness isn't my only strong suit; one of the suggestions was "research scientist". I could probably be a good research scientist in a field I understood a little better, but as it is I can't use my divergent thinking aptitudes very much because I can't understand all the possibilities.

I could go on forever about what this all means. I've said most of the important stuff I wanted to say. There is one more thing: the good news. This information does help me know, once I've looked into a career, whether or not I'd like it. Patent law, for instance, is out, since it involves mainly convergent thinking and not much else. Design in definitely still in. And so on. I have a lot more information to work with now. It's overwhelming, but I think it will lead to better results, once I narrow down the options.

Let's say I get a job in December. Am I going to keep planning my whole life, trying to find the perfect job? Is this going to stop me from ever being happy with my work? The aptitude tests aren't designed to account for interests or training. As it's always been, the decision is ultimately up to me.

Planning

I spent all weekend working on my paper. I tend to have music going while I work at home. At the end of the day, I rarely remember everything I've listened to; it's all just a jumble and I never really pick anything which much deliberation. Saturday, I had a song by Cannibal Ox on. It's a song about Vast Aire's beginnings as a breakdancer. And, while it's not the point of the song, Vast says something in the midst of his description that struck me hard, though I've been a Can-O fan since about 2002:

"While you plan, death is what happens."

I've been spending more time than usual these past few months trying to figure out what life is all about. I wanted to understand who I am, what having a Ph.D. would be like, what the real world without a Ph.D. would be like, when Rita and I would have kids, what the housing market will be like in a few years, etc. before deciding on whether to leave grad school. I guess that the decision to leave grad school was me understanding the sentiment that Vast expresses above: I could spend my whole life getting everything in order and maybe live a few decades actually believing that I had figured it out, but it's likely that whatever I figure out will be wrong and I would be wasting my time by not doing what I know in my heart I want to do.

Now that it's been a few weeks, I've realized a big reason that I was afraid to leave grad school: resume fears! Two resume fears, actually. 1) Could I actually move on to something that isn't pure science given the fact that I've been gearing my whole life (on paper, anyway) toward grad school admissions? I have no real-world experience. I've done two REUs (Research Experience for Undergraduates, like a summer internship, but at a university lab), and I went straight into grad school from undergrad. I've been training myself to be a scientist and nothing else. 2) A sabbatical would probably be necessary; how could I explain a jobless gap in my resume? Would I look like a quitter to potential employers when I explained that I didn't do engineering for a few months while trying to find a job I really enjoyed?

You see what I was doing there? I was trying to figure everything out and have plans for everything. Don't get me wrong; it's great to have contingency plans. But these were questions I couldn't do much about. As Vast might say, I was doing two things: planning and dying.

Here's the thought process that ultimately helped me decide: I wasn't happy at grad school and, if I wanted to be happy later in life, I had to find a better career now. And, though finding the better career might involve a few months of doing something temporary and unfulfilling, it certainly wouldn't kill me. And as for concerns about how employers would view my leaving grad school, so far I've told them the truth and they've all respected my reasoning.

For the record, this is a lesson that I'm pretty sure every T.V. show ever has tried to teach its viewers. When you finally realize something that people have been telling you for so long, it makes you wonder how knowledge ever gets transfered between people. Some things you just have to learn for yourself, I guess.

Do What You Are

I have purchased 4 career books and will discuss them all here. I've only actually read one so far. It's called "Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type". The title is a little misleading; while it does help in discovering good career choices, it never tells you what the perfect career is for you. In fact, I think it even says somewhere in the book that there is no one perfect career for anyone.

The book is based on the Meyers-Briggs personality test. The theory is that a human being's personality can be divided into 4 dimensions, with two preferences each (one on either end of the scale for each dimension). This leads to 16 distinct personality types. The book has an interesting self-test in which you decide what your four preferences are after reading some discussion and examples. By the end of the self-test, you will understand the Meyers-Briggs scales and have a good idea what you are. The next five chapters help to ensure that you are the type that you think you are by supplying more information about each type.

For example, from the self-test, I learned that I'm INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). The next chapter provided me with a few pages about how I probably act, what I value in people and activities, and my potential weaknesses. The next chapter described how there are four categories of people (based on the middle two letters of your type) - I'm an Idealist. Then, the book describes which of the four preferences is your strongest (based on your type) and where (internally or externally) you are strongest using that preference. You are also taught at which ages you can expect various preferences to become stronger. All of this additional information can be used to ensure that you selected the right types during the self-test.

Then, once you are sure of your type and are armed with some broader information, you get to read a whole section about you. My section discussed the career paths of three INFPs, followed by what sorts of things INFPs need from their work, things we are good at/bad at on the job, and even insightful advice on how someone like me should perform a job search (I checked it against a different type - it seems that they do give different advice for different types). The book ends with a little worksheet you can use to essentially filter out the advice that doesn't apply to you. After that, you can begin a job search with a better idea of what you should be looking for.

I haven't had much of a chance to use this information yet, but I do at least feel that the book helped. For my sabbatical (which is looking like it's going to happen), I'm going to look for a job that meets the needs described for my type. Maybe I'll learn something.

I changed my own mind.

I'm kind of tired right now, so this post may not be too positive.

Before I get into the complaining, let me make sure everyone knows my situation. I'm going to be a grad student until the end of November. By November 21st, my boss wants me to have a ready-to-publish version of my paper. After that, he will stop paying me, and I will be free to get a job (though I will have to come back to Northwestern to defend my paper in front of a committee in order to receive my Master's degree, but this won't happen until my paper is accepted to a journal, so it's about 3-6 months away). So that's what I'm doing full-time right now: making my paper good.

And I'm trying to find a job. And I'm trying to find a job I can have until I find a job (the previously-mentioned sabbatical) . And I'm trying to figure out what sort of job will actually make me happy in the long run. I have a lot on my plate. I thought I'd have more time to get everything sorted out. I didn't think I would be jobless in December.

Ok, I've complained. I assume it's natural and sort-of healthy to feel self-pity. But we all know it doesn't lead to progress on its own. So how can I use my current down state to my advantage?

1) I can try to imagine what it would be like for December to arrive with me still having no job offers - it would probably feel like this but permanent.

2) I can recall where I am. This whole process of leaving grad school and working hard to find a better career will end up with me being happier.

3) I can recall that I chose to be where I am. I didn't know the exact constraints I was placing on myself, but I did know there were constraints. I took responsibility for it all.

I'm surprised that worked - I feel better already. I'm still tired, but not so overwhelmed. Let's talk about career change stuff a little bit.

Today, I did my first of two appointments at the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation in Chicago. They gave me about 10 tests. The goal of the tests is to isolate different aptitudes. After two appointments with them, they can tell you what sort of work you will be good at/will be satisfying to you. I've heard great things about the results. My second appointment is 10/29. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I'm Ready!!

Have you ever watched Spongebob Squarepants? I love that show. Spongebob enjoys everything he does. I especially like how much he likes his job. Really, I mean, he'll run to work yelling "I'm ready!", he ravenously competes with his neighbor Squidward for the Employee of the Month award, and he is enamored with specialized versions of tools of his trade (like, I think, a golden spatula). I've always wanted to take my job that seriously and enjoy it that much.

I have an interview with a company tomorrow. I just found out about it today. I'm trying to avoid mentioning names of companies because I don't know what the rules are on that sort of thing. This particular job would have me trying four different jobs in different geographic locations over the course of two years. I'm not crazy about being away from Rita for that long, but it would be a good opportunity to learn different sorts of real-world applications of engineering.

Definition By Negation

Yesterday was the career fair. I usually bike to work and back, but yesterday, with suit in tow, I opted to take the bus. In being forced to interact with the sort of people who ride the bus, I noticed that my view of people has changed a little bit. I guess I used to feel that these people couldn't be like me because I was a grad student in the physical sciences and they weren't. I'm not trying to describe any sort of classism; it's more like they automatically weren't in my peer group (ok, maybe that's what classism is). Anyway, I found myself being more open to being friendly with everyone. Not like I was really hanging out and being buddies with everyone. It's hard to describe, I guess.

A lot has happenend since I last updated the blog. I had an informational interview with another Chicago design firm. But these guys actually seemed interested in giving me work of some kind (outside consulting, intership, or full-time). They like that I have materials knowledge and want me to learn CAD. I like stuff they do. I'll be meeting with their head of engineering in a few weeks. And this was an interview that I initiated! Their website didn't say anything about them hiring; I just liked the sort of thing they did. I initially heard of them through the IDSA (Industrial Designers Society of America). So there's one way to find jobs: contact people out of the blue that you find through trade organizations.

I talked to 11 companies at the career fair. It was clear that I wouldn't fit well at a few of the companies and that a few others do uninteresting things. Overall, there are about six that I'm interested in. I'd say the level of interest of these companies in me range from "it's possible" to "we love this guy". As far as the kind of work I could end up doing, there's a software engineering firm, a few consulting jobs (either internal to the company or regular consulting), a job in algorithmic financial trading, an intellectual property patent law firm, and an engineering rotation (in which I'd spend two years doing a few different sorts of jobs in different locations). Each has its appeal. I'm excited about learning more about each opportunity. Now I wait for them to contact me about interviews.

The career fair also really helped me to figure out what I want to do. I realized that I think it's really fun to ask the question "How can this be done better?" I think that's what's appealing about design: you are essentially an inventor. But with most of these other jobs, that interest could still be fulfilled. I could be making operations better, an application better, a product better, and so on. Obviously, just getting to make things better isn't all that I'm interested in. In grad school, my job was to find a way to make hydrogen-storage materials better, and I started to not like it after a while. I need a little more creativity and intuition thrown in there.

For the career fair, I compiled my resume and unofficial transcripts into folders, each with the company's name and the position I'm interested in. A few company reps really liked this idea. At the worst, it makes you look super-prepared. It also makes your information physically stand out; imagine the stack of resumes they get at the end of the night, and then imagine mine in a folder approximately 1 inch larger in each dimension. Ha. I win.

I initially wanted to call this blog "careerchange.blogspot.com" but that name was taken. If you want to be sad, read that blog. I thought it would be run by someone who has changed careers trying to give advice to future career-changers. No. It's some guy who hates his job and wishes he knew how to change. Ech. Career is such an important part of our lives. But we are somehow supposed to know by about age 18 what we want to do. My boss says that some of the freshman he advises come to him claiming to know that they want to do academic science for the rest of their lives. He says he's reluctant to call "bullshit", but he isn't sure what else it could be.

A friend asked me today what I'd do if whatever new job I get ends up worse than grad school. I told him I'd kill myself. I was joking, of course, and that's because I don't think I'll like my new job worse than grad school. I haven't regretted leaving yet, and the positions I'm looking at seem to require the variety, creativity, and problem-solving I need to feel happy and fulfilled.

I'm officially leaving!

I had the conversation with my boss, today. I told him I decided to leave grad school, told him my reason for wanting to do so being that I feel there's another job out there that will utilize more skills that I have and less that I don't with the end result being that I feel satisfied and energized by my work. He was totally cool about it. He's really probably the coolest boss I'll ever have. He said that it sounds like I've given it lots of thought and that he thinks I'm being reasonable. It is quite a relief to have him know. I actually didn't get too nervous before the meeting, mainly because I didn't let myself think about it.

But then we started talking about logistics. Honestly, I'd like ending grad school to be like ending most jobs: I say I'm leaving, I wrap things up, and I move on. But, there's this additional step of qualifying that I have to do. I have to prove that I'm smart enough for the Master's degree. And while I have no doubt that I can do it, I'm not looking forward to it. So, that's the logistical problem: when do I qualify and what do I do between now and then? The options are complicated, but here is the summary: I will qualify sometime between November and February (the date is mainly up to me) and I will stop getting paid sometime between right now and February (mainly up to my boss). Once I stop getting paid, though, even if I haven't qualified, I can get a job somewhere else. I'm meeting with my boss again tomorrow to discuss specifics. He's hopefully going to have talked to the main administrative assistant in our department so that he'll know what the payment landscape is. Once he tells me his plan for when he'll stop paying me, I can plan out how the next couple months will go down.

I'll probably have to advance on lining up a job while I'm between jobs. My initial plan was that if I didn't have a real job lined up in December, I'd start also hunting for an interim sort of job, one that is easier to get, is a bit unexpected but that I can use to build on old skills or get new ones. A good example is being a substitute teacher. You don't need any teaching certificate to substitute teach in Chicago, and I'd be getting paid to practice public speaking and general communication skills. But, since I may stop getting paid this very instant, I'm starting to look for different sorts of options in this realm. I'm going to refer to these jobs as "sabbatical". This word is used in the job-hunting world to mean something you do when you have six months between jobs, but it implies leaving the country, doing some volunteer work, and doing other, more selfish things. I'd like my sabbatical to be different: I'll stay in Chicago, get some paying work, volunteer somewhere, and work on things at home that are important to me.

Finally, some networking news: Rita and I have a friend from college whose dad started a design firm in California many years ago. They focus on engineering and human interaction. We are going to try to get me an internship with them. That may also be considered a sabbatical. I'm not sure how much time an internship takes up, but if it isn't a lot, then I can work on other things on the side with the intention of building an awesome repertoire of skills for whatever career I decide is the best for me.

Have an informational interview with another design firm tomorrow morning. Over the weekend, sent resumes to about 8 interesting companies that will be at the career fair on Thursday. Going to an info session for an interesting company tomorrow night. Lots to do. I don't want to lose focus on finding a job I'll love. But right now I'm a little lost in the details.

Dongwon's Advice

A post-doc in my lab sort of took me under his wing when he arrived. We occasionally have these "an-young" (Korean for "hello", I got to pick the name) sessions where we talk about my concerns with my research or career or whatever. They were invaluable, mainly for my emotional well-being.

Well, I decided on 10/5/08 that I would leave grad school and have been slowly telling people since. I told Dongwon yesterday, the 10th. He was a little disappointed that I was leaving in the first place. He maintains (and I agree, for the record) that a grad student has no idea what she's doing until at least two years of research. He feels that I'm about to get good. But he didn't try to convince me to stay yesterday.

He did try to convince me to get a job before I set in motion my plans to leave (i.e. tell my boss). He says it's like his son trying to go outside in the winter without a jacket: he just wants to go outside and doesn't care about the risks. He started to convince me. But I decided to stick to my plan: tell my boss now and start finding a job immediately. I'm doing it this way for a few reasons, the main reason being that I don't feel like I'm good at being a grad student. I'm not talking about feeling inadequate. I'm talking about feeling all relief and no pride after doing anything relating to my project. So, I don't want to have grad school as a fall-back; I want to force myself to find something I like better. Once I tell my boss, I can't change my mind. The promise of being jobless is great inspiration for finding a job. As I've said, historians will call this move either stupid or bold, depending on the outcome. As I write all this, I feel like I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. I take that as a good sign, that my confidence is up.

So, maybe it's a difference in risk-appetite. Dongwon is, after all, a family man with a child and wife to support. For him, a move like this could be extremely dangerous. It just feels weird to not be following his advice. He's helped me through so much. Entering new territory for both of us.

A bonus: I think people who know me know that I have great talent for diffidence. It may surprise them (as it sometimes surprises me) that I'm being so positive about this change. There are a few explanations for this. The simplest to explain is a dream I had about a month and a half ago.

In the dream, I was alone in my apartment. The power was going out, it was storming like a mother outside, and I was really nervous because Rita was late getting home. Someone opened the door from outside. I had to chase them away with a knife. Back in my apartment, I was even more scared now that my home was under attack. Things sort of slowed down as a figure came down the darkened hallway. It was the ghost of my grandpa. He asked if everything was alright. I said it was. He went back from where he came. I was totally calm after that knowing that my grandpa was watching me. The storm stopped and Rita came home fine.

And this was after asking to have a dream to give me some guidance in my career decision. Self-fulfilling, maybe, but it sure had an impact on me. Everything's going to be ok.

Design and Me: BFFs?

This post should catch you up on what I've done so far.

In the Winter of 2005, I saw an episode of 20/20 that featured a company called IDEO. They are a design firm; this was the first time I'd come across this concept. The video showed a group of people (engineers, anthropologists, psychologists, and artists) redesigning the shopping cart. It looked creative and collaborative and generally super-fun. I stuffed away the desire to chase such a career because I was dead-set on going to grad school.

I think it was about two months ago that I remembered design. I performed a Google search (this blog is hosted by Google, so I don't want to offend them by turning their name into a verb) on IDEO to see if they were still around. They are. I looked at their job descriptions, just to see if I could maybe dare to hope that I might have a chance. In my opinion, they describe me exactly as their ideal candidate: have an advanced degree, am not a specialist, have desire for and comfort working in teams, and have a wide range of interests. I may or may not have pranced happily around my apartment feeling that there was at least one job out there that sounded really appealing to me.

IDEO isn't hiring someone with no design experience (not right now, at least). But I have discovered that there are many other design firms in Chicago. So, if I really want to do design, I feel I have a chance. However...

Am I idealizing design? It would be a horrible to put months of effort into being marketable as a designer to find out that the job entails making models in CAD all day. Most of my effort so far has been in figuring out what design is and how I can enter it if it is what I think it is. Here's what I've done so far:

-I had a phone informational interview with a guy (whose title I didn't ask - small mistake) at a Chicago design firm. He was brief, but very helpful. Our conversation lasted maybe 8 minutes. The gist of his advice was that I'd be naive to think that I could get into design with my current background. He thinks I should enter the real world, doing product design of some sort more from the engineering side of things.

-I had an in-person informational interview with the president and founder of another Chicago design firm. He was totally chill. I'm glad that I didn't wear a suit, as he was wearing dirty jeans and a long-sleeve "Life Is Good" shirt. On the way to the interview room, we got to walk through the huge room where all the designers sit. It was beautiful. In about the middle of the room, with the approximately 10 designers all within ear-shot, he stopped walking and asked somewhat accusingly "Do you have a portfolio?". It was clear that I didn't have a portfolio. After a silence which seemed uncomfortable to me only, he said "Oh wait... who are you?" He had mistaken me for someone who he was to interview for a position at his company. So, I hope you understand what kind of guy he is: entrepreneurial enough to start a design firm, talented enough to keep it running, and no-nonsense enough to call me out in front of everyone for potentially wasting his time.

And he talked with me for an hour! It only stopped when it did because I am uptight and felt like I'd taken up too much of his time. He gave me all kinds of advice, though it was a little hard to stop him talking about himself and his work (I figure that giving the interviewer a forum for them to toot their own horn is the price you pay for the information you get).

Now, the advice he gave me isn't super interesting: places that might offer me an internship/job, grad programs I might try, skills I should pick up (software: PRO/E, CAD, and CS ActionScript), and so on. But he did ask me a good question: "What do you want to do?". I've asked myself this question many times; it's way, way different with someone so able and respectable staring at you waiting for an answer. You see, design is split into different realms, and you can do one or all depending on your position and where you work. You can try to get the design bids from other companies, you can be a receptionist, you can engineer and build prototypes, you can manage the projects and keep an eye an the marketability, you can try to sell designs to companies, and so on. He wanted to know what I wanted to do at a design firm. And even in that context, with my options more limited than when I consider engineering vs. puppeteering, I had to tell him that it all sounds fun. He told me that I might want to get some project management experience if I wanted to do it all at a design firm.

-I met with Liz Gerber, a professor in the Segal Design Institute at Northwestern University. You could say that I networked, since she is a friend of a friend. Our meeting had to be short because Liz is quite a busy person. She thinks I can get into design as I am right now (or maybe with a few years of real-world experience), but I'll have to do some networking and maybe find some way to sample the career. She also recommends that I generalize my skills on my resume, so people can see that I can do more than engineering. She also thinks I should try putting together a sample portfolio if I really want to do design. I'd always been confused about what a portfolio is; she pointed me to some sample portfolios so I could see what they entailed. She reinforced my belief that engineers are trainable by saying that I'm smart.

That's all of the information I've gathered on design so far. It still seems as collaborative and creative as I originally thought. I'm still interested. But what do I want to do? I'm wondering whether the appeal of design is the product creation and ideation aspect. I have a few more informational interviews lined up with some folks in the design field, so maybe I can hammer out these loose ends with them.

p.s. According to Blogger, "naive" is spelled correctly without its typical umlaut. I've been waiting years for the internet to get rid of English's last umlaut. Our day has come!

Introduction of "I'm Finding A New Job"

Hi everybody!

I'm trying to find a new job. This blog is going to chronicle everything I do to find a new job. It's intended for people who know me who want to follow my progress and people who don't know me who want an idea of what a job search is.

I'm not really a job search expert. In fact, this will be my first ever job search. And, on top of that, I'm sort of changing careers, and that will make this whole deal a little more interesting.

I was a Ph.D. student in Materials Science. After several months of going back and forth, I finally committed myself to leaving grad school early (with a Master's degree) and entering the real world. I'm not exactly sure what sort of job I want. With my Bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering, I'm sort of a serial engineer; of course, I'm looking at engineering jobs. But, as we will see, I'm also curious about other opportunities.

Engineers are trainable - I'm banking on that.